Choices. Life is full of them. Some of us are blessed with more options & easier options than others. While I acknowledge this fact, this reflection are not about social constructs of choice- rather, they are about what we do and make with the choices we get.
Here’s an interesting phenomena regarding choice: when many humans are faced with multiple options of choices to make- many tend to regret whichever choice we made later, wondering if we should have gone another way. Where as when no choices are offered, there’s less space for regret.
As a person who has battled indecisiveness for most of my life, I have been exploring this topic and have found some things helpful. For instance, I make a bundle of choices a week at a time all in one sitting. I plan out my meals so that those aren’t choices. I do the same morning & evening routine everyday- so that I have replaced making choices with following through on established habits.
That being said- I am FAR from being perfect in this category. I still find that a nagging remorse will bubble in unexpectedly. Or I’ll noticed that I’ve been ruminating on the question of whether I’ve made the right decision. I do my best to drop it and move on, but that is much easier said than done.
Here’s one choice I’ve never regretted: the choice to be grateful & happy. I don’t say these things lightly; I am keenly aware that the shadows of melancholy and the stagnance of depression can come without cause or warning. But sometimes I’m on the brink of stepping softly towards acceptance or plunging off the cliff of hopelessness. It’s these times that I can choose to lean towards the practices that nourish me. I can prescribe myself 15 minutes of free flow journaling, or an hour of laying in a hammock outside. I can force myself to burst into dance, or ask a friend to meet me for a hike. I can choose to actively allow in the feeling of what’s happening right now, without shying away or numbing with junk media or junk food. I can choose to realize that I don’t have to have it all figured out in order to be gentle with myself. I can be confused, and tired, and grounded, and open-- all at the same time.